Inspiring While Being Inspired
Toya Vs. TransparenTEE: The Journey, Relearning Me
I couldn't give up,
I don't recognize my reflection
I just know her pain.
Yet, my faith was my sustaining pulse,
Alive but not living,
I felt like JOB.
Constantly reminding myself, God said, he'd never leave me,
I felt alone,
Lost in consuming pain,
TEE, where are you?
After losing everything, I refused to give up on me,
Then I said to myself, self, if you give up,
Whose gonna fight for you?
Knowing the pain of my reflection,
I loved her enough to fight for her & to be a better version of who we used to be.
My pain, frustrations & hurt were consuming,
People judged, watching as my world fell apart,
I was hurting, it was like no one knew or understood.
I was hurting, yet ashamed to feel defeat,
I was hurting yet I was shun, isolated & felt completely alone.
Strength when I was weakened w/ every loss,
It's been a long 5 long years.
It's like no one ever saw the tears I hid, it's been a long 5 years.
Like no one heard my silent cries for relief,
God, It's been 5 long, painful years!
I now know pain so indescribable I couldn't began to convey,
I still hurt, my healing is ongoing, I'm GROWING.
My PAIN MADE ME STRONGER, now I'm wiser...
I'm on a journey to be a better version of me.
So now when I see my reflection,
I can say I know her pain...
Her strength & her will to survive.
Now I'm trying to be a better version of me,
Combining who I am, with who I used to be & the woman I'm BECOMING,
A better version of TEE
I've Stumbled upon my Strength & my calling so I'm
NO LONGER ASHAMED OF MY SCARS!
I fought hard to be the woman I am today
I'm no longer ashamed,
I'm no longer ashamed of my scars