Inspiring While Being Inspired
Toya VS. TransparenTEE: 2014
2014, was rough,
It was hard, torturous seeing my Mother's house in "disarray",
Now I can admit that I ran... I ran from everything, but I couldn't get far.
The house was STILL damaged, my lawsuit was dragging, my health was deteriorating...
Things were bad.
I was literally up & down I-35 every other week, living in 2 states... but I had unfinished business.
It was all too much, I should have been grateful, but my heart had grown bitter, and depression and anger set in.
I had no sense of belonging, my voice was silenced,
No literally!
I stopped singing and became an introvert, the numbness was necessary to cope but became consuming.
Outside looking in everything was fine, but it wasn't...
MY WHOLE LIFE WAS CRASHING DOWN!
It was hard, torturous seeing my Mother's house in "disarray",
Now I can admit that I ran... I ran from everything, but I couldn't get far.
The house was STILL damaged, my lawsuit was dragging, my health was deteriorating...
Things were bad.
I was literally up & down I-35 every other week, living in 2 states... but I had unfinished business.
It was all too much, I should have been grateful, but my heart had grown bitter, and depression and anger set in.
I had no sense of belonging, my voice was silenced,
No literally!
I stopped singing and became an introvert, the numbness was necessary to cope but became consuming.
Outside looking in everything was fine, but it wasn't...
MY WHOLE LIFE WAS CRASHING DOWN!
Meanwhile...
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It was publicly humiliating but
the chaos was consuming, at times, none of this felt real I would have to remind myself daily that I wasn't dreaming. The fact that I was living my nightmare was unbearable. Being that my Mother raised me in church, I knew to pray but it seemed as if God had not heard my cries nor my plea & sadly, I shut down. I felt like Job, I had nothing else to lose. BUT DON'T CALL ME A VICTIM... |
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The worst thing you can call me is a victim, I now know survival that left me questioning, "how am I STILL HERE?"
I was in the middle of a Lawsuit when I was hospitalized.
The subdued, ongoing stress led to a Mild Stroke months before my 30th birthday.
I felt attacked from every side.
EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE WAS IN DISARRAY!
Sept 2014
To add to my frustration, no other insurance provider would insure me after my insurance provider dropped me, as if I was to blame for inheriting a house in tornado alley that was hit 2x & vandalized. Frustrated, with no other options, I was forced to move back into my damaged house while waiting for the insurance company to do something, anything to restore my home.
I was in the middle of a Lawsuit when I was hospitalized.
The subdued, ongoing stress led to a Mild Stroke months before my 30th birthday.
I felt attacked from every side.
EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE WAS IN DISARRAY!
Sept 2014
To add to my frustration, no other insurance provider would insure me after my insurance provider dropped me, as if I was to blame for inheriting a house in tornado alley that was hit 2x & vandalized. Frustrated, with no other options, I was forced to move back into my damaged house while waiting for the insurance company to do something, anything to restore my home.
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"I was living in a hotel, paying a mortgage on a damage house that wasn't livable..." |
The mortgage, now a strain, tripled after I was forced to purchase coverage through the mortgage company which was extremely expensive but necessary & required but was nearly impossible on a damaged property.
I NEEDED PEACE OF MIND, SURGERY, ... A MIRACLE! I had a mixture of emotions, the toughest of them all was hard seeing my Mother's house in disarray. 2014 Was rough... but I'M STILL HERE! ' I DECIDED TO SHARE MY PRIVACY DESPITE IT BEING MADE PUBLIC TO SERVE AS AN EXAMPLE OF SOMEONE WHO COULD GIVE UP, BUT WON'T; I CHALLENGE YOU TO DO THE SAME!!!' INSPIRING WHILE BEING INSPIRED. |
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WHAT I WANT YOU TO GET OUT OF THIS:
Do the right thing, even when wronged! When the fight gets tough, get tougher and remember why you're fighting, and why you started. I clearly had A LOT going on, but I couldn't give up & I'm glad that I didn't. NEVER GIVE UP! INSPIRING WHILE BEING INSPIRED #inspiringinspired Signed the Educated ♑ #TransparenTEEblogs |